Person Blog Move

Hey TRU Seekers

I thought I'd let you all know, 1. sorry I haven't posted on here for a while....

2. I moved my personal blog to wattpad! I guess I just feel a little more comfortable posting there? I guess.. weird, I know. But I have been posting on there (you haven't really missed much though)

http://www.wattpad.com/37657952-the-story-of-teri

^^ Link for where my personal blog will be for now on.

I'll try and keep posted on here, but no promises. 

xxx - Teri <3

God Save The Broken Boy

Hey my TRU Seekers,

How has your night been?

For me, I had a school dance which I went with one of my best friend's Whitney (BIFFL). This school dance lasted 7:30-9:30 PM. It was great for half of it! Until the drama happened..

Of COURSE there ALWAYS has to be drama in a middle school... well in any school dance. My problem is I get involved and try to problem solve. But this time it was one of my friends, so of course I wasn't just going to stand aside and watch.

My friend Brian, I guess you could say he has depression. Well... not think, he DOES have depression. Which I don't know how, I don't know why. Yet, he seems like such a happy person. He's hilarious, and always seems to put a smile on for each day of his life...

Truth is.... I'm loosing him.

He cuts.... and cuts.... and cuts.... and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I talked to him, I wrote him letters.

The letter I received back was "I want to thank you for writing me that letter, you made my day and it will forever be in my pocket. I almost killed myself, until I received your letter" There was more, but in a summery that was it. 

I was happy when I received that letter back on a Friday afternoon.

After the weekend and another week of school started, Tuesday morning came. Another show choir practice..

We all sat down, looking around I saw my friend Liz... I simply knew something was going on.

I knew because I looked deep into her blue, river eyes... It was filled with sadness.

I asked her what's wrong..

It was about Brian.. and how he is still cutting. My heart dropped, I was played. I was fooled. But it wasn't his fault. Last that day I wrote him another letter out of pure feelings of anger. Of course I was careful with what I said. 

Later that day I received a reply from Brian that said "I never meant to hurt you"

It just keeps breaking me, those words replay in my mind every day.. 

"I never meant to hurt you.."
"Never meant to hurt you.."
"Hurt you.."

It's haunting, its terrifying, what if he does kill himself? Did he really mean everything from the first letter, of "thank you" or did he just want me to feel okay. It kills me inside, but I don't want to ask anymore.

Back to the dance..

Brian showed Liz his cuts.. that he had JUST cut at the dance right there only a few feet away. I saw Liz's sadness again as she sat down. At the dance she was so energetic, I loved it! But I felt something happen... She couldn't tell me in full sentences what happened, she simply said "You know who" and something about "Wrists" I knew.. Brian.

They had a whole conversation.

Brian doesn't tell me anything or show me his cuts because he knows I worry to much, and he doesn't want to hurt me. If he continues I WILL go to an adult and talk to them because I can't handle a secret this big anymore. I need my happy friend back....

I can't loose another friend in one year but this time by death. 

I'd rather take my own life, than let him take his own...

I'll figure something out.. don't worry. I mean.. I'm Teri.... I should be able to find some kind of solution to this problem, I must..
Please, if you are feeling suicidal and feel like nothing matters PLEASE call these numbers below..

1. 911 (Or any local emergency number)
2.  1-800-273-8255

Talk to a counselor, talk to friends, talk to family, or even talk to me. Get help from the people you feel will help you the MOST.

Take Care,

Teri♥

Loosing a Friendship After 9 Years (How It All Crumbled Down)

Hey my TRU Seekers,

Everybody has at least been through this situation once in their lifetime, loosing a friend. If you haven't something is obviously wrong with that picture. 

Let me start by telling you how it all happened. 

My friend (no names involved this time) was going through a tough time with bullying. She has been since 1st grade, but this year it really seemed to have hit her. They joked about her weight and how she's silly. I'm the same way as her (looks) and they don't harm me. Is it because I can easily twist their words with my music? Possibly... She's kind of the opposite of me. I'm a musical person, always out there and taking the risks and trying out for it all. Yes, she does take risks. But she's afraid of being rejected, such as for show choir. She didn't make it last year nor this year, it's hard to not make it. She tries to be musical, but she tries WAY more than feeling the music in my opinion... A tad bit nasally. 

Anyway, they found her as a easy target I guess. She WAS such a strong person, and she still is. I always tried my best to help her and sometimes I'd even fight back with them and tell them to bud off. Which then I become a target, but you see I don't care so they easily walk away. I always told her to ignore them, it may seem hard but the more you do the less they'll harm you.  She came to me for comfort, and I comforted her the best I could.

I was her body guard for the beginning of our middle school years. I know I can't always protect her, but I try. 

This year bullying got to her about her weight. She stopped eating, my eyes can't tell much detail. But during lunch hour she'd always bring up that "I stopped eating!" or "I'm counting calories, dropping jean sizes" Blah! Honestly after she left the table we'd all mumble how we don't care! Good for her, but we don't care! NONE of us wanted to get into her drama! She wasn't very good at finding her timings on when to say things, she's an open-book, that's probably why. 

One day she started talking about calories and the whole table rolled their eyes, and I had it. I did a wrong thing and lashed out on her, but I DON'T regret it. I meant what I said. After that weekend, I wrote her a letter. I told her "We need a break in our friendship, we're happy for you but we don't care about the calories!" I said more, but I don't have the letter since I gave it to her.

She wrote back saying "I'm happier this way, and I AM eating, I was so depressed before, if you want a break alright."

It broke my heart... She was happier before all this crap..

She started being this way once she met this new girl, I'll call her #1.

#1 stopped eating, that's when S (my friend) also did. She became her new number one best friend. I knew I was going to loose S. S started wearing make-up just like #1. Foundation, eye-liner. Nothing wrong with that, but I knew her attitude would change and it did. She became a stupid girl, thinking she's cool. SHE ISN'T BEING HERSELF! And it kills me!!!! She doesn't realize it at all.

After a month of not at all talking to each other, maybe saying hi but that's it. I knew our friendship was over. It tears me.... but it was her choice and mine as well of course. She simply changed (attitude and physically) and I couldn't keep up. She wasn't the same best friend I had 4 months ago.. Weird how people change so quickly.

It makes me sad, but one day I'll get over it.. And maybe one day we'll be friends again. As time goes by, we'll see.

Have you guys ever lost a long friendship over a simple thing? Comment down below.

Be You, Stay True, Don't Change For Others...

-Teri♥

Thanksgiving Transitioning to Christmas (FINAL COUNTDOWN)

Hey my TRU Seekers,

How have you all been? And how was your Thanksgiving?

Mine was pretty great, celebrated my father's 56th birthday. Also celebrated his birthday and Thanksgiving with my neighbor's the West'ssss (as my family calls them). This week will defiantly go into a great memory for my mind. Haven't really felt this happy (of memories) in a while. Probably because not much has really happened. I will say this, for what I am thankful for. I am thankful for my musical talent to be able to play multiple instruments, to be able to have a wide vocal range, to sing, and I am very thankful for my education. Most students say "I hate school" or "I wish school never existed". People don't realize not everybody in the world is fortunate enough to have an education. To learn. I'm thankful that I am learning, so one day I can teach others. Hopefully you all can to.

What are you thankful for?

Now that Thanksgiving is over it's the final countdown (IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!) For Christmas. Got my Christmas tree and all the decorations out on Thanksgiving. Love it, I always feel the love with bright Christmas lights.. I don't know. How do you get when you decorate for Christmas?

The tree is always my cat's favorite place to hide. Although we can ALWAYS see them.. Nice try Casper. But he sleeps there. I call him my "present" since he's under the tree. Just sleeping there, me being like "Gee, wonder what I got". I know he isn't my present though obviously.

My cats (Mossimo & Casper) both have mini stalkings. It's really cute! Wonder what to get my cats for Christmas... as weird as that sounds I believe they deserve more!        

Anyway enough about my cats. Once November is over, I then only have ONE MONTH left until our FIRST show choir concert! I'm kind of nervous now, because nobody really has the dances down. I am a very loud choir singer, but I seem to be the only one. I hear my self WAY better than I should be able to! Hopefully everybody gets all they need to down before January other wise we ARE SCREWED!

But I have faith in our group, and I know we will do our best and learn everything. I'll defiantly be working hard this next month, dancing and singing! I need to work on dancing the most.

I do have a group solo with my two best friends (Whitney & Liz)! For the song "Brighter Than The Sun". I'm excited. My teacher placed me to sing in the middle of all of us... I feel pretty special for that. :-p

Anyways, what has been going on in your life? And what will be going on for the next month? How's your holiday?

Be Grateful,
Teri♥

Irresponsible Teachers?!

Hey Guys,

Sorry I haven't blogged in a long time. Nothing to actually blog about I suppose.
But here's a situation I came across recently at school, like legit.. yesterday.
My history (shall not be named) homework for section one was put in the grades as MISSING.
Here's the story behind it..
Last Tuesday during TA (homeroom), I went to her room to finish the 10 point section. My friend Amanda finished at the same time as I did (we didn't sit by each-other so NO we did NOT CHEAT. She called us cheaters one time -_-). Anyway, I DID turn it into her. Hand to hand, teacher to student, face to face. Not passed around from student, to student, to student. I missed a BAND LESSON which to you may not be a big deal, but I am a music GEEK! So DUH I need as much help as I possibly can!!
I went to go talk to her after class, she said "You never turned it in", never turned it in... NEVER TURNED IT IN! I was about to go RAGE on her! (With not on.. erm..)
I'm giving her this weekend, if she doesn't find it. I'm going right up to her give her MY story with my details.
Cause I know for a FACT I TURNED IT IN! It makes me so mad! I'm down a grade now because SHE LOST IT! (Which down a grade now was from B+ to a C-) My mom told me to stick to how I feel, so I will defiantly stick to how I feel...
Have you guys ever felt this way? Or has a teacher ever lost a homework of yours?
Comment below, ask me any questions, or anything else to blog about.

Stick with the truth,
Teri♥

How to Cope with Death (RIP)

Hey Guys,

So recently, and I mean today. I found out my Grandma Gloria died from breast cancer a few days ago.

I still can't really believe it honestly, we used to always email each other weekly. I mean she was always a sick woman, and looking through my emails she always ended up in the hospital for easy things such as concussions or pneumonia. She was the Grandma I was really close to. Since I live far away from most of my family. 

I've been coping with my Grandmother's death by writing. Such as poems and songs. 

How do you cope with sad things such as death?

And if you feel like your life is over because of death or anything dramatic going on with your life, trust me when I say, you're not alone. Talk to friends, family, a therapist, anybody that you know can help you and talk out your situation. 

R.I.P. Grandma Gloria♥♥

Keep Smiling,

Teri♥

BRIAN'S HOME! (Don't Run Away)

Hey Guys,

So two weeks ago one of my best friend's Brian ran away from home. He ran away basically because his parents found out he was bisexual and they didn't like it at all, and yeah.. I don't think I should go into detail, since you should be able to get the point. 

Two weeks later he really surprised us by showing up to school! He's returned home now, so don't worry. 

Hopefully his parents would learn to love their son no matter what sexuality he is, seriously. A parent should give nothing other than loads of support and unconditional love. I mean the rumor was that he is returning to school sometime this week, but I really didn't have high hopes on that, until today. I really hope he gets his life back to where it needs to be..

Note to those who decide to Run

Please, if you really feel like nobody loves you, and you don't feel wanted. Please, DON'T RUN AWAY.

There are so many things that can happy if you run away! You can get raped, killed, ill. I mean, just anything horrible. If you feel unwanted get help, talk to an adult, therapist, friends, family, anybody. Cause there IS somebody that will help you. And I'll even be there for you, as weird as it is. I know how it feels, but we just need to know better that it's even worse to run away from your problems.

We need to face them. Hopefully I helped you.

Keep Smiling,

Teri♥